More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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