Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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