A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
