'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i was born a porn star she said
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
