I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
