I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
