last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
