Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
