There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
