Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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