wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
