just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
