he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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