I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
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When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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