Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
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So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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