I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize