Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
