Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
