yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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