Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I love having hate sex.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..