yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.