Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
