my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
