Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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