Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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