I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
