Taylor Swift is so right about you.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
