singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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