i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
