we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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