the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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