I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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