remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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