He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
