How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
