Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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