Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
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Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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