Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I would ride that face into the sunset
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
