Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
