He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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