I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize