3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
