She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
