Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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