and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
