I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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