They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
birth control should be required to get into college
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
