just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this beer tastes like vomit already
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
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I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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