We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
