thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
