I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
