piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
