So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
ttyl tear gas
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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