I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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