I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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