Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
