we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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